••the most randomest thing happened!! {{chris

[`* chris scott swane.]

chris ,

[/i]

so all of the thoughts i thought i might
tell her turned into songs that until now she's never heard of
[/center]

[/b][/color] tried not to get too excited when her arms wrapped around my neck during the kiss. I'd been so afraid that she would pull away from me, and now she was keeping me closer. I could say it'd been so long since I'd been held, but I never really had been. At least romantically, if I could call this thing with Kisa romantic. Her fingers ran through my carefully gelled spikes and I wondered if I shouldn't have messed with it so much this morning. It wasn't exactly soft to the touch. But before I could worry about it long, I had to breathe. She smiled at me, making me blush and stare at the ground like a little boy. I stood up straight again, my hand falling down to hers, leading Kisa to the bleachers we were standing near, taking a seat on the first bench. I didn't like being so above her, looking down seemed so condescending.

Do you think ... I could win again? She asked and I laughed, my hand at my neck again, excessively entertained. I was having such a good time, it was almost criminal. "Why not?" I chuckled, reaching out to stoke her cheek, my fingers light and gentle. "This doesn't feel like losing." I blushed, not having to move forward much. She'd already come closer. My arms wrapped around her waist and I darted in quickly and sweetly, slightly less gentle than before, but only because I was happy. I didn't stay long on her lips, darting back in every few seconds, alternating between her lips and her cheek. I pulled away after a few moments, breathing a little loudly, grinning and blushing. I exhaled heavily. "You don't think I'm rushing things too much?" I wasn't quite sure what I'd do if she said I was. But I guess I was hoping she wouldn't.

[/ul][/size][/blockquote]

[Kisa Fairly]

Oh. My gosh. Chris was just too adorable for me to handle. He grabbed my hand and started to bring me to the bleachers. That was cute! He didn't want to bend down or whatever. Wait, how is that cute? Oh well! I sat down, feeling the heat of the metal on my jean pockets within seconds it seemed. I had that feeling in my chest where you just wanted to scream, and usually because you were so happy and all the butterflies wanted to come up and join the party. Is that a good way to put it? I dunno. I blushes softly at his laugh. I felt like just a whore right now, which the thought just made me bite my lip. He was so innocent and cute. Is it possible that I might just ruin that innocence by liking him? I tried to ignore that thought. It didn't seem right. But maybe I had a point... Was it a good idea to bring it up?

Being pulled from my questions, my brightened hazel eyes met Chris's blue eyes. His eyes were amazing. As if you could just drown in them or melt at the sight. I'll tell him about his eyes later. As he spoke, I felt a shocking thrill that made my stomach tingle. His fingers stroked along my cheek and I could feel the body heat connecting. I reached my hand up gently and put it over his, something most girls didn't seem to do in movies, but I always liked the feel of someone's hand on my cheek. It was just... I dunno, comforting I guess. That's when he leaned in again, and I seemed to like how he didn't make it all fucking slow and teasing like a few guys had way back when. I was keeping up with him, though, as our lips touched softly, me always being surprised at how soft the human lips truly were. I didn't expect it for some reason.

I was starting to loose my breath, but my arms were once again around him. I guess I wasn't that out of breath, since I'd kissed guys longer before. Ha, truth and dare had always involved kissing of some sort after middle school started. He pulled away, and I was more out of breath than I thought, though he wins. He was breathing heavily. Auntie always said I had a good lung capacity. Is that good? Oh well, I don't care. "You don't think I'm rushing things too much?" I raised my eyebrows slightly. He thought he was? I felt my cheeks heat up instantly at the thought of rushing. He wasn't even fucking close! Ugh, it felt so weird to blush. It was only because he was so sweet and innocent though! I had to look away while I answered and I'm sure the look on my face wasn't that pleasant. "No, no. You're not. Not even close to some exes of mine," I commented softly, feeling awkward now. I was such a slut! I started to pull away, still looking down. "I'm such a fucking slut..." I said, my nose burning now, too, which made my eyes water slightly. I hope he didn't think I was going to cry or something...

[` carter alyssa westwood]

chris ,

[/i]

so all of the thoughts i thought i might
tell her turned into songs that until now she's never heard of
[/center]

[/b][/color]his was too perfect to be real. Here I was, worried about how many friends I could possibly find at a school in Laudeville, California of all places, and it already looked like I had my first girlfriend on my hands. She was beautiful, and sweet. She wasn't Laney, either, I reminded myself, but no one ever would be for me. Kisa still had several qualities to her that my former flame had not. Like the crazy sense of humor, how outgoing she was ... And Kisa's lips were just so damn addictive.

There were of course, ups and downs to this. For one, she was making me feel wonderfully dizzy and sorry to be cliche, but it was true, all warm and fuzzy inside. But there was the lingering suspicion that it'd taken a lot of experience to get this good. This thought that I'd been trying to deny was almost confirmed by the way she raised her eyebrows at my words. I knew I was taking this too quickly, much too fast for anyone that wasn't used to casual hookups. My heart dropped to my feet. Is that all this was to her. Subconciously, my arms locked a little tighter around her, desperate not to let Kisa get away, my perfect Italian biker chick.

"What did they do to you?" I murmered, trying not to look a little hurt, but I was. I had a hard time imagining any other boy's arms being where mine laid now. For a moment there, I was really doubting how into me she was, but then she spoke again, and I could hardly stand watching her be so cruel. To herself in particular. "Kisa, no. No, you're not." I said, pulling her into a hug against my chest. I could do without the tears, because of course, I loved to see a girl when she was happy and smiling, but I'd do anything to make them go away. Not that she was crying ... yet, but she seemed to be on the verge of tears. "It's my fault, I'm rushing this too much. If you didn't want me to kiss you, you could have turned away. I'm sorry." Why did I feel the need to apologize for something that had been so incredible? I didn't want to forget about it now ... [/size][/ul][/blockquote]

[Kisa Fairly]

I could feel his arms wrap around me tighter. Either he just didn't want me to leave, or he felt the need to hurt whoever hurt me. Not like he could find them, anyway. They were all in New York and Italy. Doubt I, myself, would ever see one of them again. Unless I visited one of those places... Hell, a few of them knew so many people in those places they would know that I'm there within a matter of half and hour. It was crazy, the guys I'd dated. But I was a free spirit. I loved to just enjoy life, and part of enjoying it, I guess, was saying yes to the opprotunity of many boyfriends? I had never thought how sluttish it was until now though. My old point of view would have been something like, "I get to meet so many amazing guys that always have something within them that just makes a sparks. That makes me feel happy and loved and wanted." But even though that I was still true, I was afraid Chris would hate me. Would hate that I was so... un-innocent and so broken.

The thought made my head spin, which wasn't a very comfortable thing when my nose burned and my eyes were already watery. I didn't want to think about my past, but it seemed as though I would have to. Chris should know these things about me. This is what I was honestly afraid of though. I was afraid of someone who made me so happy, just hate me like I was a piece of trash. Like I was a slut who couldn't be trusted because you wouldn't know if she was cheating on you. I wasn't like that, though! I wouldn't do that! I hate doing that. Even if it happens on accident, say if some drunk guy came up and kissed me and he saw, I would still cry my eyes out from feeling so bad that I caused them pain. I can't stand hurting people I loved... wait... do I love Chris?

Before I could even begin to think of an answer, I forced myself to listen to him speak. I purposelly made my hair fall into my face to hide the expression that I was lying. "Nothing.. I mean... nevermind..." I said in a small voice, not managing to get the lie completely out. I couldn't lie to him! That was something I just knew now. I couldn't lie to Chris. After I proclaimed myself a slut, something in his voice changed. He didn't like to see me with watery eyes and being rude to myself. But it was true! I was a slut. Nothing could change that. So, I just didn't say anything. I liked the way I fit against his chest, though, so I didn't pull away from the hug. He was like a giant teddy bear, but I couldn't think of cute little teddy bears at the moment. My mind was on other things.

My eyes snapped wide open when he announced that it was his fault for rushing. What the--!? That was off-subject. I looked at him, my eyes full of concern and care and maybe something more, I don't know. "No, this has nothing to do with you," I said, glad that my voice was starting to sound a little bit stronger than before. "I mean..." I shook my head and took a deep breath. "Okay... my first boyfriend, and kiss, was in fifth grade and I've dated... so, so many guys since then. Since Venice, Italy. Mostly bad ones. One that have tattoos and smoke and drink and are in it just for the kissing and the fact that I could be shown off like a trophy." Another deep breath, but then I spoke quietly. "And I lost my v-card in freshman year..." A look of pure regret washed over my face. "It was the year after I lost my mother, so I hadn't been thinking straight." I explained quickly, thankfully. I didn't want him to speak, though he was probably disgusted enough to just run away now. I shook my head.

"Chris, I just want you to know that you're amazing. You may have jumped a bit, but all guys do that at one point. I should know..." I actually looked up at him in the eyes. "Just know that I really like you. I like that you actually listen and are sweet and funny and cute and just... yourself. I wouldn't do anything to hurt you, I promise. You're different and I feel... I don't know, extatic when you kiss me." I smiled softly and blushed. "I won't leave, either. You can get me a leash if you want. But I don't care. Not leaving." I smiled again before my eyes widened and I slapped my hand over my mouth and muttered through it as I looked down. "I talk too much..." A large blush crossed my face and I could only hope he didn't think I was a huge idiot-crazy-slut-Italian-girl-who-rode-a-motorcycle. Wait... maybe only I could come up with that. Haha.

[` carter alyssa westwood]

chris ,

[/i]

i watch you spin around in the highest heels
you are the best one of the best ones.
[/center]

[/b]t's not that I was surprised that Kisa had been with a lot of guys. I'm sure it hadn't taken them long to get their greedy, dirty hands on her. I looked down at my watch carefully. Yeah, it'd only taken me a matter of an hour. Maybe she had a problem telling guys no, and that's why she wasn't pushing me away right now. I suddenly felt like another brick in the Great Wall of China. Or worse, the Berlin Wall. I was torn down, crushed to pieces. Now, while I could be perfectly content thinking about Ronald Reagan cheering to a crowd of angered listeners about tall constructions, my mind couldn't help but wonder just how different Kisa and I were. I hadn't taken much time to evaluate the situation, I had to admit. She was spparently very experienced, I was a little lamb just looking for someone to hold... I wouldn't have explained it in those words, I had to maintain some of my masculinity ... But I was what I was.

She told me it was nothing. I really wanted to believe her, but I could see the tears in her eyes, and it was almost unbearable to act like I couldn't. "No, there's something going on..." I muttered, almost to myself, but I'm sure it reached her ears, unfortunately. I didn't want her to know how upset I was about this. I was a guy. I should be screaming my heart out because I got a girl who'd done more than me. I should be giddy because I might get someone in bed. But that wasn't what I wanted. Sure I did, by instinct, but I fought it by habit. Her arms wrapped around me, the way her head pressed against my chest - this was enough for now.

I had been worried we would leave it there when she spoke again, suddenly. It was almost enough to make me jump out of my seat, but I settled with shuddering a little. "This has nothing to do with me?" Gosh darnit. My puppy dog face was coming on again. If I'd have known how to stop it, I would control the trembling lower lip and the sad eyes I focused on her. It wasn't comical, but there was something in the set of my jaw that earned it the title. The expression was enough to get a girl cooing over me in seconds. The funny thing was, I didn't have a clue. I'd never really used it before, but it seemed like it would have that effect ... I was a little confused, honestly. She brought this up, and then didn't want to share.

Yet again, just as I was about to speak up and tell her it was okay just to forget about it, that I'd go back home and we could forget this whole mess, she spoke again, and I was terribly inclined to listen. It hurt so badly to know that I wasn't the first to kiss her lips, that there were other kisses she had to compare it to. Worse to know that they weren't very nice guys, guys with bad, smoky breath. I hated them for blackening her lungs and for breaking her heart. I hated them for dating her. I hated them for finding her before I had. The worst part was when she told me she'd lost ... it. I didn't like talking about love or drugs or rock and roll, but sex was the hardest for me. After that, I just kind of spaced out. I had a hard time seeing her the way I had just a few minutes before. I really couldn't understand the psychology going through this girl's head, what she'd been thinking when she let a guy talk her into that. It went against every thought, value and moral I'd ever held.

Here I was staring into the girl's beautiful brown eyes and I couldn't even hear what she was saying. I shook my head softly, almost indistinguishably, through all the words she was saying, she might not have noticed. This was unbelievable. I like that you actually listen. What a thing to say. I stared for another few moments, waiting to see if she'd finished. She had, apparently, and I feared that she'd really begin to think I was wrong in the head, but I snapped out of it. Maybe if I'd heard all the wonderful things she'd just said to me, I'd be fine, but losing your virginity at fifteen ... That was hard to swallow. "I don't know, Kisa... Maybe I can't do this after all." I murmered, staring down at my legs, which seemed to be working on auto-pilot. What was I doing? Why was I leaving? My mouth seemed to be running too, working itself away from the lips it still wanted to kiss, strangely enough. I shoved my hands in my pockets, just incase they sprouted minds of their own and reached out for her again. "But ... it was nice meeting you." I said, turning to go, walking a fast pace back toward my truck, not quite sure why I was leaving.

"MEET" Christopher Scott Swane
"YOU JUST READ" 862 words
"LOOKING LIKE" HERE
"THIS POST IS" complete!
This is my sunshine (my 9th sunshine). It makes me happy when skies are grey. You'll never know, dear, how much I love it. So please don't take my sunshine away.
Lyrics c) Dashboard Confessionals, Stolen. Icon credit to Purple Elephants at Livejournal. All content unaforementioned c) Awry at Forever and Always.
[/ul][/size][/blockquote]

[Kisa Fairly]

His lip was trembling. His eyes, I could swear, were doing that thing that anime characters' do when they're sad. That weird... rippling water type thing. Gah! I can't explain it! But I could feel someone stabbing me as I looked into those beautifully sad eyes. It was times like these I wish I could paint or take amazing photographer-worthy pictures. Just to show him how she saw him. That he was like the angel that would save her from her filthy life. The look on his face, though, told her that something was off. His impression was changing. Something such as doubt, or regret, was in his expression. Something that kept stabbing her over and over. It told her to stop talking. To suddenly get the superpower to mess with minds and erase his memory of the past few minutes. Please, God! Don't let this get screwed up!

Too late. "I don't know, Kisa... Maybe I can't do this after all." And just for a minute there, she thought her pain wouldn't, couldn't get any worse than the stabbing. But then came what felt like a bullet to her skull. He started to get up. Kisa felt herself start to double-over, but she quickly forced herself back up. The pain was unbearable. "But... it was nice meeting you." The way his face looked before it turned and the way his voice sounded against the silent screams for mercy in my head. Yes, I really am over-dramatic, but this felt so life-like... the pain. The pain was so real. I clenched my jaw as he was now a foot or two away.. maybe more. I was never good with eye-balling it. He was leaving.. like mom.

Mom. I shot up, staring at Chris with wide eyes. Mom said something about angels. What was it!? I almost felt like hitting myself, but that would be weird. Angels... everyone.. your life could turn around. Something like that! Ugh.. how to put it into words!? I was mentally panicking. I inhaled slowly, trying to get my voice under control, so I didn't sound desperate. "My mom, while she was dying of cancer... she-- uhh--" Damnit, my voice wasn't as strong as I thought. Maybe it was because I mentioned my mom. I always felt like such a scared little kid when I thought of my mom's sickness and death. I sounded like one too, I guess. I wouldn't know until now. I never talked about her like this. Usually, it was just something like, "I live with my aunt. My mom died awhile back and I don't know my dad." I'd said it so often I forgotten about saying other things..

"She said everyone had an angel. She said I was her's and I think.. no, I know you have to be my angel, Chris." I felt my eyes water against my will, but he probably didn't notice... he didn't seem to care anymore. Another stab. I needed to stop thinking of that! I took a hesitant step forward. "Please.." I looked at him with a face that probably said something like, "I can't bare to see you leave." My eyes were still watering and my cheeks were so warm, they were probably near red. I wanted to tell him about my mom. I wanted to tell him about me. I wanted to know about him. I wanted him to kiss me again. I wanted to be in his arms! He had to come back! He had to..

God, please...

[`* chris scott swane.]

chris ,

[/i]

i watch you spin around in the highest heels
you are the best one of the best ones.
[/center]

[/b] didn't want to believe her. Things like these were words spoken only in books I'd read, they didn't happen in the real world. She wasn't supposed to run after the innocent boy who'd just had his first kiss, she was supposed to sit there and laugh at my tall, retreating frame because I wasn't man enough to have stayed. I felt so in over my head, but in the loveliest way, like I'd been in the worst of pain, slipped into the sea, and the lack of oxygen was taking it all away. I was most certainly out of breath. I laughed. God, I hated to say it, but I practically giggled, I was so giddy. "K-Kisa, you can't feel this way about me. I'm nothing, really, I am." I ran my fingers through my hair, which was kind of mussed up after she'd been playing with it, but I honestly didn't mind. I just wanted to make her happy again. For all I cared, she could put it into a mohawk right now, and as long as I could see that unnerving smile again, I'd be fine. "I'm just ... I'm just scared." I murmered, embracing her again, fingers running through her pretty, shiny hair. I could almost space out again, with the way it felt running over my hands, my fingertips. I knew this wasn't love, only infatuation, but God, it felt like it could be one day. "I'm afraid that I can't give you what you want... What you've had before, Kisa." I shuddered. It was a hard decision to make here on the spot, but I'd already set myself against it. I wouldn't do anything with a girl until we were married. I just wouldn't. Even if it was Kisa asking me for that. God, was it wrong for a guy not to want to be violated? It seemed pretty strange to me, especially since it was more of a girlish thing to be worried about. Oh well. Wanting to kiss Kisa again was definitely not a girlish quality...

Her eyes began to water, and a bittersweet pain filled my heart. I leaned in, kissing her cheeks where the tears had threatened to flow over. "It's okay, Kisa." I murmered, my lips forming the words over her skin, brushing back and forth. I felt wonderfully happy, my heart racing. She was blushing and I laughed, grinning before pulling her into a full-on kiss once more. I just couldn't stay away, or say goodbye. It was an impossibility, and knowing this, nothing would be able to shake me from her. I was definitely beginning to feel something like trust blooming in my heart. I could see myself sticking around for awhile ... As long as she was happy with what I could give her, and I would give everything I felt I could, taking my age and hers into account. I pulled away, lips burning along with my cheeks. She was too good at this. "See, you've got this all wrong. You're the angel here." I smiled, kissing her swiftly. "A very experienced angel, but even so." I smiled, blushing a bit as I realized my hands that had slid down to the small of her back, holding her hips close to my legs. It was almost funny how short she was compared to me. The thing that was actually funny was that I didn't care. And despite what I'd said earlier, I was really beginning to let my feelings run away with me and ... "Kisa ... I think I love you." I blushed, smiling sweetly. I'd decided on this awfully quickly, in fact, in a matter of an hour and fifteen minutes, but did that matter? No. Love is blind. Love is a commitment, and I'd already made that leap of faith. So why shouldn't it be all that we needed?

"MEET" Christopher Scott Swane
"YOU JUST READ" 649 words
"LOOKING LIKE" HERE
"THIS POST IS" complete!
This is my sunshine (my 10th sunshine). It makes me happy when skies are grey. You'll never know, dear, how much I love it. So please don't take my sunshine away.
Lyrics c) Dashboard Confessionals, Stolen. Icon credit to Purple Elephants at Livejournal. All content unaforementioned c) Awry at Forever and Always.
[/ul][/size][/blockquote]

[Kisa Fairly]

I could almost feel myself melting as Chris looked back to me. He actually listened. I needed him, I realized as the invisible stabbing subsided. Mom must've sent him for me. Must've sent him so that my life would turn. So maybe I wouldn't go down the same path she did... Working as a bartender, having unexpected night-time plans... having a child who's father was unknown and not being able to tell her anything about him. The thought made the deppression that had once taken over my life start to lift from it's well-hidden cage within my, but I could feel myself concealing with as my attention quickly focused on Chris again. Usually, I wasn't think attentive to anyone, but he was someone else. Someone like my mom, I realized. The person I could always spill my heart out to.

A slightly weak smile played with my lips as he told me he was nothing. Was that that his excuse to try and get away from me? I could feel that pain start to penetrate myself, but I had to say something. "You're so modest... when you really don't have to be," I said, hoping my smile was concealing my inner doubt that he'd stay after I'd confessed all of that. Relationships were based on trust. Or so I've always been told. I realized he was closer now, and he embraced me, sending my heart ablaze with a sputtering beat. Thank God. Thank you. I sent my silent prayer to Heaven, to my mom. He told me he was scared... and I could feel my face freeze over with worry. Scared? My arms had already embraced him back, but they tightened around him.

My hazel eyes widened as he told me what he was afraid of. He couldn't give me what I wanted? What I had had before? I pulled back softly to look him in the eyes. "Chris, there's a reason I don't have what I had before... and that reason was so I could meet you." I smiled soft, very soft. "And don't worry about what you can "give" me. As long as you're here, I'll be happy." What I had said sent a shiver up my spine with how true it had already turned out to be. He had been with me on the bleachers, and then he'd gotten up. That felt like he was leaving, and the pain with it wasn't that of a good emotion. I already knew what it would be like for him to leave, but the pit of my stomach told me that it could be worse. Probably, would be worse, if he ever left for good.

I felt my stomach flutter as he leaned to kiss my cheeks, telling me it was okay and his soft lips brushing upon her cheek where she knew that tears had probably started to show themselves. As his eyes fell upon me after that moment, he laughed and it was like magic was swirling around me. Little faires flying around, sprinkling pixie dust. Then I could feel our lips touching, and we were kissing. The magic seemed to explode and I felt myself relax against him. He was amazing. Just a kiss could calm her nerves. It felt c'est magnifieque. That is, if I were French. Haha. When he pulled away I was smiling brightly at him, the light of it reaching my eyes. He was just amazing! How many times do I have to explain it? He made me feel like I could grow wings and fly. It was special.

That when he told me I was the angel, but when I was about to protest, he kissed me swiftly. As though he sealed my lips for a second so he could keep speaking. It made me smile again. I blushed softly as he called me an experienced angel. I was glad I was honest.. but I don't think he liked that I was "experienced." I smiled at him anyway, feeling completely in heaven. Now all I needed to make it perfect was... "Kisa... I think I love you." What the fuck!? Mindreader! I squealed like a little girl and smiled, jumping up to tackle him, my heart racing like a jack rabbit's. "I love you, Chris!" I was a little loud, but who the fuck cared!? I was in love!

[`* chris scott swane.]

chris ,

[/i]

tell me, did you fall from a shooting star?
one without a permanent scar.
[/center]

[/b]hat a privelege it was to be needed by someone, that person being Kisa made it all the better. I had never imagined that anyone would want me, at least this early in life. It seemed kind of crazy, the way her fingers gripped my back as if she really didn't want me to leave. I smiled to myself and held her a little tighter. It wasn't like I'd ever wanted to go. I'd thought that's what she wanted, and as long as I wasn't a bother, I'd be around. I hadn't quite reacted to it yet, but I had heard her say her mother was gone. I couldn't imagine having to deal with something so hard, my mom and dad were still around and I depended on them quite a bit. An almost parental instinct sparked inside me. I wanted to take care of her, be the one she'd run to when she was upset. Though I knew that I couldn't replace anyone, maybe I could be a halfway decent stand-in.

You're so modest ... When you really don't have to be. She said, but I knew the truth. I wasn't being modest at all, maybe humble, but I really didn't amount to much. "Whatever you say, Kisa." I said softly in her ear, ready for this drama to be over. I laughed as she continued on. Apparently, I'd made her quite sad by trying to leave. "Then you should be ecstatic." I smiled, reaching out to stroke her pretty face. "I'll be around as long as you want me." I grinned, kissing her little nose and finding her hand, enveloping it in mine.

That's when I confessed my feelings and was suddenly tackled. "Oof." I laughed, Kisa's body weight hitting mine. This had happened many times in football, but never with a girl. It was a bit different for the guy that had never really had any physical contact. I blushed bright red. Half of her body was laying over mine, her hair was falling in her eyes in the loveliest way and she grinned. "You do?" I had to admit, I was suprised, but in the best of ways. I bit my lip, shivering a little. The whole concept made my heart race, a doll of a girl to hold and love. I stared at her for a few moments, unable to grasp the sheer beauty of her face, the way the light played across her face, and tired of holding myself back, leaned in to kiss her again. My hands found her torso, gently laying her down on the football field, only to turn over her, elbow on the opposite side of her thin little body, supporting myself. I pulled away when I felt the kiss was about to get a little too racy, smiling sweetly and running my fingers through that pretty hair again. "Does this mean we're boyfriend and girlfriend now?" I blushed childishly, hand finding hers again, watching the way our fingers entwined.

"MEET" Christopher Scott Swane
"YOU JUST READ" 500 words ... i'm sorry.
"LOOKING LIKE" HERE
"THIS POST IS" complete!
This is my sunshine (my 11th sunshine). It makes me happy when skies are grey. You'll never know, dear, how much I love it. So please don't take my sunshine away.
Lyrics c) Train, Drops of Jupiter. Icon credit to Purple Elephants at Livejournal. All content unaforementioned c) Awry at Forever and Always.
[/ul][/size][/blockquote]

[Kisa Fairly]

Air welled up in my chest as I smiled and he kissed my little Italian nsoe. I giggled, the air bursting out in little laughs. Chris was so cute. I could hardly stand it. I was going to explode into a million butterflies and then rematerialize only to explode again. Wait, did that make sense? If I did that, then wouldn't it be a never ending cycle of explosions? God, I didn't make sense. Well, I mean, I knew what I was thinking and stuff, but-- y'know, screw it! I'm done explaining this. I just giggled more on account of my thought waves. Was I just random, or what? I caught sight of Chris's eyes again and I nearly exploded into jumping and twirling and flipping, I was so damned happy.

As I went to tackle him, I accidentally knocked the wind out of myself as the soft grass engulfed us. The white paint on the grass was fading, she noticed, and the grass needed to be trimmed before school started again. I almost laughed. A grin set itself on my face as he blushed again. I was practically almost entirely on top of him. I'd forgotten that he was really innocent about stuff like that, but I just kept grinning. "Hello, Cherry," I said, giggling while I was in the middle of saying Cherry. He was a cute cherry, nonetheless. "You do?" I started to laugh softly. He must mean the love thing. I smiled in the sweetest of ways. "If I didn't, I wouldn't have tried to get you to come back. I wouldn't have nearly cried, either. I never cry," I said, smile lightening my face entirely. I really did love him.

I stared into his blue eyes, their careful gaze staring back. I wanted to be in this moment forever. He was just so.. him. I don't know how to explain it, but I felt like he was the only guy who would ever make me feel this way. I wouldn't get this back if I lost it. He kissed me, our soft lips against one another's, making my heart flutter like a dove in the early morning. I felt strong arms grasping my upper-half and setting me on the soft grass. I smiled into the kiss. So he wanted to be above me instead? Well, I wasn't protesting. He pulled away, and I was left smiling up at him the way I did. His fingers ran through my hair and the cutest of pinks must've washed over my tanned cheeks.

"Does this mean we're boyfriend and girlfriend now?" My smiled grew and I laughed softly, a fit of giggles that I was finding hard to keep down. I managed, though. I looked into his blue his as his hand found mine and I felt like I was soaring, even if my back was on the ground. "Of course, silly-billy," I said in a soft voice as I brushed my lips onto his in a soft kiss that I only had last for two seconds.. maybe three, before I pulled back. "I love the way you look when you ask those kinds of questions." I paused to giggle. "Hell, I just really love you." I smiled at him and my heart was racing. I could tell cause I could feel it in my hand that was twined with his. Then I thought for a second. "You just might even the inspiration to a few songs." Then I smiled.

[`* chris scott swane.]

chris ,

[/i]

and did you miss me while you were
looking for yourself out there?
[/center]

[/b][/color]t was hard to understand why Kisa was so excited by my kisses, why she jumped a little when I wrapped my arms around her. I didn't feel like I was anything special, it should be me that was freaking out here. And contrary to the way I was playing it cool on the outside, I really was. I was terribly happy that she was letting me do everything that I wanted to, and not only that, but she returned the affection. She'd said she loved me, so it had to be true.

Come to think of it, outside of my family, I don't really think that I've ever been loved. Not in this way, anyhow. I'd never been told some girl from across the cafeteria was watching me, I'd never been called cute, I'd never been told a secret by a stranger about her multiple ex-boyfriends. Not that I'd wanted a pack of girls following me around. Kisa was enough, and given the chance, I would have picked her given the opportunity to do this with anyone else. "Cherry?" I squinted, head tilted slightly. It was cute, though, because she giggled. I loved that laugh of hers. "I don't really like pet names, but for you I will. You're Itty." I smiled sweetly, kissing her lips innocently. But as soon as I pulled away, she was talking about my almost leaving again. A pang of guilt stabbed my heart. I never should have said I was going, but I hadn't known it would hurt her so badly. "I know, and I'm sorry you had to. I shouldn't have done that." All the while I was saying this, I was stroking her cheek gently.

I laughed as she explained, but my heart shuddered the most when she confirmed that we were an item now. Blushing yet again as she said she loved me, I grinned, but perked up yet again when she mentioned songs. "You like music too? I play mandolin ... and sing a little." The last four words were practically a whisper, I didn't know what she'd think of that, or if she'd want to hear my voice. "Maybe we could work on that together. I'll write a song for you, too." I smiled, lips on her mouth again. Why she had wanted to focus on our awful moment of indecision, I didn't know, but I wanted to get past it.

Still, now that I was back to thinking of that moment, I couldn't help but recall her story. Here we were, and I was practically laying on top of her, lips gentle on hers. But I was not the first. That didn't bother me too much. But I probably wouldn't be the last, either. That's what really hurt. For the first time since I finally got over the wreck, I felt like crying again. "Kisa, I love you. I wish that this was new for you like it is for me." I laid my head on her chest for a moment, staring out at the darkening horizon. "It'd mean so much more."

"MEET" Christopher Scott Swane
"YOU JUST READ" 512
"LOOKING LIKE" HERE
"THIS POST IS" complete!
This is my sunshine (my 12th sunshine). It makes me happy when skies are grey. You'll never know, dear, how much I love it. So please don't take my sunshine away.
Lyrics c) Train, Drops of Jupiter. Icon credit to Purple Elephants at Livejournal. All content unaforementioned c) Awry at Forever and Always.
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[Kisa Fairly]

I was just so ready to pout when he said he didn't like pet names. If he didn't like them I wasn't sure how I wouldn't be able to call him Cherry or anything. But then my face was heated to a degree that I was sure to appear red. Itty? "I-Itty?" I cursed myself for the stutter, but the only thing I'd ever been called was babe and chicka and sweetheart and hot stuff. I'd never gotten a nickname as unique as the ones that I give. I tilted my head. "What does that mean?" I asked, blinking with a confusion. I felt a soft grin as he leaned in and kissed me softly again. He was so adorable. Why couldn't I have met him earlier or something? That was just.. so.. depressing. I never thought sweet and innocent or jocky and popular guys would ever like me and here I am, in the arms of a really cute and innocent and sweet and wonderful guy that I only wish I could have met earlier.

I started to smile sweetly as he stroked my cheek and apologized for me. He seemed like such a gentleman. "No, no.. it's okay. You didn't know and neither did I that it would hurt," I paused to kiss him gently. "So don't feel bad, okay?" I smiled. He really didn't have to feel bad. He was just scared, that's all. I loved his laugh then. A laugh so new to me, it made me smile. His blush still appeared and I wondered that if, over time, it would disappear. I wouldn't let that happen. I couldn't. My face lit up excitedly as he said he was into music to. The mandolin.. and did he just say he could sing? Well, I would just take it as if he did say that. I then made a 'squee' sound. 'I play the guitar, bass, and I sing too!" My smile was huge.

Work on it together? I thought about that for a second, but before I could think long, he kissed me and I smiled under the kiss. My hazel eyes sparkled at him as he pulled away. "No, no. I want my song to be a surprise." I giggled. As he said he loved me, it didn't sound right. He continued and I wondered what he was eating at. As he finsihed, his head on my chest, I could feel my eyes instantly darkening. I started to sit up. shifting his weight along with mine, though I hardly noticed. As I sat up, I looked up through my eyelashes at him with probably the most evil look I would ever show around him. I had worse ones though. I think my bi-polar kicked in, cause I was focused on nothing, but my anger boiling upwards. I didn't even know he was stradeling me because of how I shifted upwards.

"Why are you only thinking of what I told you? Just because I have had sex just once in my life doesn't mean that this doesn't feel as new to me as it does to you." My anger switched to depression so fast that my eyes were instantly watering and my expression changed. "Do you really think that I've ever been with someone like you? Cause I haven't.. and it's so new and I love you, but you just keep talking about that, Chris... Why are you just looking at my past?" I couldn't figure out why I was sounding so over-dramatic. I geuss it's cause my moods switched so fast that I felt like I was in a soap oprea.. hehe that'd be funny. But I really didn't understand why he kept looking at my past...

[`* chris scott swane.]

chris ,

[/i]

and did you miss me while you were
looking for yourself out there?
[/center]

[/b][/color]hat a sweet little doll I had under me right now. I was so worried I'd break her one day, but knowing Kisa, her independence would keep me from ever crushing her. For half a second, I feared that wild spirit I knew she had and if I could keep up with her antics for long. I didn't feel like I'd be the last boy ... man, whatever ... to do this with her, but I'd never considered how long it would be before that man had his hands on her after mine. "Well ... correct me if I'm wrong here, sweetie, but no offense, you're short. Especially compared to me. And itty just sounds like a nickname for Italian, which you are ... I don't know, it just fits." I grinned, blushing softly again. I wondered if I'd ever stop turning pink around her. Even if I did get that diamond ring on her little finger like I wanted to eventually, the redness of my face would most likely only increase.

I seemed like a gentleman because I was. I would have been the guy to hold open doors and kiss hands and pull out chairs, but I was also shy. It prevented me from doing things like that unless I felt a lot of trust for the girl it was for. And I was beginning to feel comfortable with Kisa. I darted in to kiss her and very gently touched her lower lip with my tongue, as if to prove the point. "I can't feel bad when I'm with you." I'd said, cheesily, only a moment ago. It wasn't something a guy was likely to say to a girl, but I wasn't a probable guy to have a girl, anyway.

She spoke again, bubbly and grinning. It made me smile, just to see how quirky and happy she was. "Really?" I laughed. I'd love to see her sing. That'd be incredible. But she didn't want to work on it with me. "Huh. Well, I guess I've always liked surprises." I shrugged. There would be other songs for us to work together on.

... And then she turned on me. When my heart was aching so much already by the thought of anyone else sharing something so intimate with her, it was almost enough to make me actually cry. I could feel the stinging tears in my eyes. I blinked them back as she snapped at me, sitting up myself and staring at the long grass beneath me. I didn't feel warm anymore without her body around me, even in the hot summer night. "Kisa, I just ... I don't want to be compared to other guys. I'm selfish. I don't want anyone else to have you." I managed to get in before her mood changed yet again. My eyes widened. I swore my neck ached from the whiplash I suffered on this emotional rollercoaster ride. "Cause ... I can't look at our future, baby ..." I blushed. It was the first time I'd called her baby. "And I'm so worried about screwing up the present, that's the only concrete thing I've got. I want to understand you, so badly. And ... I've never been with anyone like you, either, but I've never been with anyone, period. I feel like I'm trying to learn from an experience you've already had." I whispered, leaning in to kiss her passionately. I wasn't sure why I felt the need to apologize, but maybe it was because she'd sounded so hurt in those last few words. I just wanted us to be perfect.

"MEET" Christopher Scott Swane
"YOU JUST READ" 598
"LOOKING LIKE" HERE
"THIS POST IS" complete!
This is my sunshine (my 13th sunshine). It makes me happy when skies are grey. You'll never know, dear, how much I love it. So please don't take my sunshine away.
Lyrics c) Train, Drops of Jupiter. Icon credit to Purple Elephants at Livejournal. All content unaforementioned c) Awry at Forever and Always.
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