we don't need no education, [Carter & Co.]

[` carter alyssa westwood]

[/SIZE][/color][/font]
BUT THEY'LL NEVER TAKE THE SUMMER FROM ME[/font]
it was the very first time that i lost my mind for the week,[/color][/font]
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'Willie Weller, Willie Weller!' I sang to myself, skipping through the halls. In most highschools, they didn't allow you to run, but I was skipping. So that didn't count. And Berlington's administrative staff was whack anyway. And the students I was easily passing down the corridors weren't staring because I wasn an Elite. Nobody messed with an Elite. It was just understood here. I passed by several of my poseur friends, who, though I was crushing on Sam, were incredibly cute today. They joined in until they came to their classes. I exited Building A and was out in the courtyard. My legs were getting tired, but I was so close to Building B, where I would have my English lit. class with my bestest friend, WillieWeller.

I loved hanging out with him, not only because he was a great, funny guy, but because he had the best advice. About anything. Clothes, hair, makeup, friends, boys ... Especially boys. I burst into Building B and made a quick right turn into the English lit. class where I found William getting ready to start class. The fifth period Pre-AP English class was terribly small, including only me, Amy, and Ashley because she'd failed her English classes two years in a row and this was the last step before hitting rock bottom: Remedial English... For freshman, and my sister was a junior. Ah, well. Everything was a-okay. 'Hello Willie!' I shouted as soon as I entered the almost empty classroom, running over to hug my friend. Geez, for a gay guy, he sure was cute.



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POST STATUS:[/color] Complete. (:
TEMPLATE CREDIT TO:[/color] sydknee says!
BANNER CREDIT TO:[/color] person!
LYRICS CREDIT TO:[/color] All Time Low
ROLEPLAYING WITH:[/color] Willie Weller, maybe Amy Germore? Ashley Westwood, and other cannons that might join later.
WHERE WE AT?:[/color] English lit. class, room 101, Building B.
WORD COUNT:[/color] two-hundred-sixty-two.
LOOKING LIKE:[/color] clique. x3
NOTES:[/color] I think I might start roleplaying Amy's love interest, but Willie could hit on himm at a party... xD[/size]
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[/center]
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[shameless]

William set up the slightly smaller desk up with his teaching materials. Everything was perfectly in place, even the books were in cronological order by the published. Setting his Macbook on the desk, he sighed. This wasn't as exciting as he thought. He was teaching the class for free, while some old guy came in to watch him. Berlington decided to take on a Co-Opertaive eduction program this year. Basically it meant the students, like Will, who got 85% or higher in thier classes were allowed to teach a lower level class with teacher supervision. The gay boy had been forced into this decision by administration. It wasn't everyday someone got a 96% in advanced english. Turning to the board Will picked up the chalk and scrawled his name on the board. His script was poor, almost illegible. That was one thing the left-handed teen was going to work on.

Hearing his name the teen gracefull spun on his heel. "Hiya Carter." Turning back to the board to comtinue a small note, he spun around again. Carter Westwood, an elite, in remedial classes. "I thought you were in college level english?" His brows furrowed, he was in university level classes, and he always thought his best friend was just a level lower. William wondered about Carter, she always seemed so smart and sure of herself before, what happened? Had he been this oblivious to her personality and life all this time, Was his life of hiding his sexuality taking over his life? William promised that his hiding would be all over soon, if not for him atleast for his friends. He knew that he was distant a lot of the time, even while driving he felt the strain of hiding the fact he liked boys.

[` carter alyssa westwood]

[/SIZE][/color][/font]
BUT THEY'LL NEVER TAKE THE SUMMER FROM ME[/font]
it was the very first time that i lost my mind for the week,[/color][/font]
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I shook my head. Sweet Willie. He thought I was smarter than I actually was. I was pretty far up there, but not college English. Hardly. I'd love to get there, though. I had to admit, I'd had dreams of being the 2012 valedictorian several times. My grades were good enough, I was fifth in my class, and the only people ahead of me were there because they were making good grades in Algebra. I'd taken Algebra last year and was currently focusing on Geometry. That would make me that much smarter, and my grades senior year would only be so much better. But enough of that. More about Willie. I'd been really worried about him lately. I knew that he wasn't the happiest guy, but I'd noticed something was up. He wasn't acting the same.

I'd tried to call him up and talk about it a few times, but he never answered his calls. I'd asked Amy about it, too, but she didn't have a clue. It seemed like with every passing day, Willie just drifted farther away from our group of friends. He used to hang out with Regina and dance with her when she was acting crazy. He used to go out to the barn with us and laugh while he rode. He used to smile. But things had been different in the past few weeks. He walked with his head down, he would only watch Regina. I'd hoped things would eventually get better, and that he was just having a bad spell. But nothing had changed. If anything, things had gotten worse. I didn't think I'd ever seen William walk with his head to the ground before. He used to have such confidence, such vibrance. And it made me sad to see it go away. I felt like the sun had gone behind the clouds permanently.

So, Will. What's been going on with you lately? You've been acting like you're upset about something.. I tried to bring it up casually, but it felt awkward. I stacked my binders on my desk several different times, unable to chose how I wanted them, before sitting down. Something told me this wasn't going to be an easy conversation.

Amy had no clue what was going on with Will, but I had a few ideas. I might even have had a few leads. I knew Will wasn't about to show up at school in a dress, but he wasn't the most masculine guy, either. I'd noticed it more and more, the older I got. I realized the way he awkwardly talked about how 'hot' Penelope Cruz was. The words didn't seem right coming out of his mouth. And as strange as it seemed to say, I'd seen him looking at Junior, too. Come on! Why? We were all friends! Will could have been open to me about this from the start. He was an Elite now. If he came out, it's not like it'd make him any less cool. If anything, it might make him more popular with all the exposure. Still, maybe that wasn't it. Maybe he felt guilty about something. Still ... Call it woman's intuition, but I had a feeling I was right the first time.



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POST STATUS:[/color] Complete. (:
TEMPLATE CREDIT TO:[/color] sydknee says!
BANNER CREDIT TO:[/color] person!
LYRICS CREDIT TO:[/color] All Time Low
ROLEPLAYING WITH:[/color] Willie Weller, maybe Amy Germore? Ashley Westwood, and other cannons that might join later.
WHERE WE AT?:[/color] English lit. class, room 101, Building B.
WORD COUNT:[/color] five-hundred-thirty-six.
LOOKING LIKE:[/color] clique. x3
NOTES:[/color] xxx[/size]
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[/center]
[/ul]

[shameless]

I was taken aback by Carter's question. Was it that noticable? I tried to maintain my old self somewhere within this shell i've become. Had I failed that bad? Acting was a strong suit of mine, but was my life becoming to big to be hidden behind my pokerface. Looking at my friend I saw nothing but sincerity in here eyes, it seemed like she was worried about me. I didn't even remember the last few months. It all seemed a haze. Home, School, School, Home. The endless circle was almost followed to a tee. There was no life left inside me, was there? I sat myself behind my desk, letting my body crumple into a smaller version of itself. I felt beat. I was going to have to tell her. I was finally going to admit my sexuality. No more going on about how 'hot' Jennifer Anniston and other random celebrities were. They were really just overpaid whores anyways. I'd tried hanging out with the guys, they just took my effeminate side as a joke.

My femininity was no joke. There was nothing funny about being born a minority. A especially hated minority. Gay people were beat everyday for just being themselves. What was wrong with me taking it in the ass? Nothing. I was this way for a reason, a very good reason. A reason that I’ve not found yet. Looking back up at Carter I found my virtue again. Stepping out from behind my desk I almost tripped on the leg of my chair. The grace I’d acquired from dancing with Regina was starting to leave me. My skills for almost everything had taken a fall within the last few months, social skills more so than most.

The only serious, long communication I’ve had with people was on chatrooms. I’d met a few people, some nice and others not so nice. I’d heard coming out was hard, well here goes nothing. Perking myself on the top of Carter’s desk I leaned forward into her. Again no spark, so much for hormones, I was definitely gay. “Carter, I have something to tell you.” Swallowing the bile that was building up in my throat I almost choked. Maybe it was my bodies way of making me turn back and try to be normal. ‘Normal?’ whar was Normal? Maybe I was normal, maybe this was the way I’m supposed to be. “Carter, I’m gay.” The words weren’t as strong as they were supposed to be. They were a little weak for my usual charismatic skills.


Getting up I walked three steps away, to give her room. Buffer room, who knew what she was going to do? Maybe she’d just end my useless life, that wouldn’t be a bad thing. It would stop the pain I was feeling. Stop my cutting, stop my desires for other men, stop my heart. It would stop the most problematic thing in my life, my heart. The treacherous organ that threatened to ruin my life with its will.

[` carter alyssa westwood]

[/SIZE][/color][/font]
BUT THEY'LL NEVER TAKE THE SUMMER FROM ME[/font]
it was the very first time that i lost my mind for the week,[/color][/font]
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Willie sighed. I seemed to have shocked him, but he didn't seem disgusted. He was probably going to answer it. My hands tensed at the corners of my desk and gripped the hard plastic top. I had no clue why I was so anxious about it. He paced away, then back, as if he were choosing his words. I knew that words were important with William, he could take his time deciding what he wanted to say. He turned around and came back towards my desk.

I tensed. He leaned forward and pressed his body against mine, so close, I felt my heart pounding. Why? This was Willie? Still, I felt a rush of adrenaline and hormones cloud the blood that ran into my cheeks. Maybe he wasn't gay at all. Carter, I have something to tell you. He said. Maybe he was interested in me? My heart pounded more rapidly, and I tried to get a hold of myself. It's not like I liked Willie or anything. We were just friends.

I'm gay.

So I was right. The hormones fled back into my body, and I felt weakened without them. Willie stepped away. Even with this new knowledge, I couldn't deny that he was still gorgeous. Same Willie. Nothing different. But he seemed upset by it. He'd walked away like I would throw a tantrum, or try and hit him. Actually, I was kind of okay with it. I wouldn't have to worry about what I wore when I went to the movies with him, or that he'd start falling for me or that I'd start falling for him, like I did with all my guy friends. It would be like having another girlfrend around. And I'd gotten so sick of watching him awkwardly talk about the women of Hollywood. I'd gotten tired of listening.

Well, it's not like this would be an easy conversation. I'd known that since I walked in the room and saw him, his back muscles tense and tight. I knew there had been something on his mind, and now that he had it off his chest, I could already see him starting to relax. The tension of waiting for my reaction still interrupted his stance, but I could see that he'd been holding this in for so long. Why should I shoot him down and make him feel bad? It had obviously taken a lot of courage he'd worked up over several months to tell me this short sentence. Why he couldn't have said it earlier, I didn't know.

It wasn't like I was a hard person to trust. I tried my hardest to be open, to be laid-back. I tried my hardest not to be like Ashley. And if there was anybody in this school who would support Willie, it was me. Heck, I would try and find him a boyfriend, just to make him happier. He'd been so down lately, painful to watch and hard to be around. I immediately began running options through my head. I remembered a party last year where Mason Chaplin made out with a guy. It had seemed strange at the time, but I'd been the only sober one there. Maybe Mason could be swayed to be with Will. I knew that it was hard to be alone. At least Willie didn't have his eyes on anyone specific yet... It was even harder to be alone and in love, because only one person could save you from it. Only Sam could take me and really make my day. And he hadn't shown at school in weeks.

Well, are you sure? I asked, returning to Will's problem. I was selfish; thinking about my own, when there were more serious matters at hand. I had to make certain that this was not something shaky, that he'd just decided on. Not that I have a problem with it or anything. I think it's great. I said. Geez, that sounded wrong. But what else could I say? I wanted to encourage Willie. I didn't think my faith would approve of this, but whatever he wanted, I was alright with. We'd been friends since I was in kindergarten, and he was in fourth grade. We'd gone to daycare together, and I'd seen him at his best and his worst. I realized the way he felt was ... wrong, I suppose? But it didn't mean that I would abandon him. How could he ever have thought I would be so harsh? That must have been the reason why he moved away. Well, I was no Ashley. Ashley might even be happy about this; she'd always wanted a gay guy to do her hair and makeup, but who knows. I knew she could end up throwing a tantrum over anything, and with Junior on her mind at the moment, everything was tense. Willie might have a friend in me, but as for the others... I wasn't so sure about them.


... TBF



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POST STATUS:[/color] Complete. (:
TEMPLATE CREDIT TO:[/color] sydknee says!
BANNER CREDIT TO:[/color] person!
LYRICS CREDIT TO:[/color] All Time Low
ROLEPLAYING WITH:[/color] Willie Weller, maybe Amy Germore? Ashley Westwood, and other cannons that might join later.
WHERE WE AT?:[/color] English lit. class, room 101, Building B.
WORD COUNT:[/color] eight hundred twenty. i rambled. x3
LOOKING LIKE:[/color] clique. x3
NOTES:[/color] xxx[/size]
[/font]
[/center]
[/ul]

[shameless]

-----------------------------
My Bodies Acking
~Acking For Your Touch~
Cant You See, Its Slowly Killing Me. Your Love Is Like Poison

[/color]

-----------------------------

I watched Carter for a few minutes. She seemed to be deep in thought, but about what? Was she planning on hurting me, ambushing me, and god forbid try to turn me straight. As if that’d ever happen. These past few months of talking to other gay teens on the internet and the cybersex pretty much assured myself of my sexuality. Why was I was only gay guy here? Well besides Mason Chaplin, he was caught snogging some random guy at a party once. He wasn’t into me though, I’d observed him for the past few months. I never got anything more than a passing smile or glance. Wait? Did it really sound that bad, observing and stalking almost went hand in hand. Oh well, I could always count it as ‘focused walking’ that sounded a little better.

Carter snapped me back into the situation with her soft question. Her eyes still looking further, she was obviously not out of her trance like state. Her conscious was just taking a step forward. I could still see that her mind was wandering. ‘Well, are you sure’ That hurt, was she suggesting that I was really straight. Maybe she thought that I was pretending so I could get closer to her and the other girls. She wasn’t going to pass this class, if that’s what she thought. I was not a person to mess with, I would hold a grudge and use all my powers to make myself known as a powerful enemy. “I’ll have you kno--” My sentence was closed off by her acceptance.

I was so happy that someone was on my side. I almost fainted. Swaying on my feet I backed into my desk. Steadying myself on the simulated wood, I felt tears brim over the lids of my eyes. The tears were thin, but still smeared the little bit of eye liner that I had on. “You’ve just made me the happiest person in the world.” Was that really as corny as it sounded in my head? It was true, I was sure that everyone was going to abandon me like they did my brother. Then again my brother went to a catholic school where all gay people are looked down upon like devils.

I saw a hint of worry coming from Cart, even through my blurred vision it looked like she was mentally evaluating me. Almost like she doubted my mental stability. Her vision was piercing, making me flinch a little. The hairs on the back of my neck stood up. Pulling a Kleenex from the bigger desk I dabbed my eyes, making sure to get rid of all the smeared makeup. Wobbly-kneed I made my way to my best friend and pulled her into a big brotherly hug. She tensed for a second, then let herself go limp. Kissing her on the cheek I swore I heard a low sigh, or maybe a moan.

Wait either or was bad. Was she crushing on me? That wasn’t a good thing, I couldn’t lead the poor girl on. That was not a thing that I could let myself live with. Maybe we’d have to stick to high-fives and innocent gestures. Pulling back I straightened my dress shirt and giggled. “Maybe we should talk about this more after class?” Wait? Did I just run my tongue along my lip. Fuck, I’m pretty sadistic asshole. Why was my sub-conscious making me tease this girl’s heart? Was I really this fucked up? Wow, I feel for my poor mother, first it’s the gay son who’s almost perfect. Now it’s the gay son that has a fucked up mind. Turning back to the board I finished my note in my poor hand. Turning back and seeing the full class I noticed that I must’ve been at least twenty minutes writing this note.

[/size][/blockquote]


::TAG:: Whomever Wishes
::WORD COUNT:: Six-Hundered Eleven
::OUTFIT:: Click
::COMMENTS:: HI
::LYRIC CREDIT:: Poison ~ Elise Estrada

Template by: •°o.OBambiO.o°• of Blank Pages

[` carter alyssa westwood]

[/SIZE][/color][/font]
BUT THEY'LL NEVER TAKE THE SUMMER FROM ME[/font]
it was the very first time that i lost my mind for the week,[/color][/font]
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My heart ached with the strangest feeling. Even in these seconds of fleeting courage and adrenaline to accept William, I didn't understand why. My heart was pounding for a different answer than he was giving me, but at the same time, I felt so proud of him for being strong and telling me. I wanted him to be the way he liked, and I was still in love with Sam. Maybe I was just feeling this way for Will because of the sudden news I'd gotten and in some strange way, I thought that feelings for him would turn him back the way I'd thought he was. No, no, no. My mind went spiraling down some strange, black tunnel. This couldn't be right. I loved Sam, I loved Sam. So why was I feeling some irresistable, gravitational pull towards Willie, whom I now knew was gay?

It wasn't even that I liked him, I didn't think. Somewhere, in the back of my mind, where sanity still resided, I knew that much to be true. I felt nothing with him compared to what I did when I was with Sam. Maybe it was ... a sympathy pain. A sympathy pain that had shot me in the heart, the devil-spawn sister of Cupid's arrow, black and decieving. Poison in the tip of the arrowhead. I could come to no better conclusion as to why I was feeling this way. The breath was knocked out of me, my heart was racing, my knees were shaking, but it was not love. It was not even affection. What it was, I had no clue. I would mark this feeling 'unknown' until I had a better head on my shoulders. At the moment, I couldn't even feel mine.

I was able to smile only weakly when he said that I'd just made him the happiest person in the world. I heard horror movie music playing my head. Oh, why couldn't William still be straight? Or why couldn't I still be under the assumption that he was? Maybe if I hadn't known, this whole thing never would have started, and the gears that had begun to turn would have stayed rusty and covered in cobwebs. It was true that I'd never thought this way, or even felt this way before. It was terrifyingly confusing. I stared at his name on the blackboard, written in his sloppy hand. I examined the consanants, the curves to the L's in his name. No, that name held no meaning to me. Friendship, but nothing more. Why should it? This was the name that belonged to a ... gay man.

He kissed my cheek; I barely noticed, though I may have let out a small breath of anxiousness. It was the worst thing he could have possibly done in this moment. I knew that it had not been a moan of ... desire, no, not at all. Fear, but fear in a slow state was more probable, feeling like I could not stop him, not without being rude, but still not wanting to face what he gave. Not that it was a bad thing. I could learn to embrace William's sexuality, and his new gestures towards me that came with it. But it was ... such a shock. Such a belated, suddenly-brought on shock. I'd been okay with it, just minutes ago. So why was I so upset now? I wasn't necessarily upset with him, no, not at all. I was ... just scared. Scared to find instability in this madness, scared to stray from Sam and be stuck falling for a boy that would never return my feelings. But, I realized slowly, he couldn't make me love him. I was in control of my own fate. And as I calmed, I felt better and better.

'Um... S-Sure.' I stuttered. Had he caught on to me? I felt the fear invade my heart once again, knocking all my walls down. I felt naked, which was a terrible feeling to get as all the students began filing in. I heard several students ask me if I was okay, and I heard my own suddenly foreign voice respond that I was, but all I could think about was Willie's hand, slowly making notes across the blackboard. It didn't matter the shape or size of the word, the way he moved the chalk across the surface, every single one spelled 'reject'.




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POST STATUS:[/color] Complete. (:
TEMPLATE CREDIT TO:[/color] sydknee says!
BANNER CREDIT TO:[/color] person!
LYRICS CREDIT TO:[/color] All Time Low
ROLEPLAYING WITH:[/color] Willie Weller, maybe Amy Germore? Ashley Westwood, and other cannons that might join later.
WHERE WE AT?:[/color] English lit. class, room 101, Building B.
WORD COUNT:[/color] seven hundred and thirty-two.
LOOKING LIKE:[/color] clique. x3
NOTES:[/color] xxx[/size]
[/font]
[/center]
[/ul]

[shameless]

-----------------------------
My Bodies Acking
~Acking For Your Touch~
Cant You See, Its Slowly Killing Me. Your Love Is Like Poison

[/color]

-----------------------------

I looked behind me, examining my pupils. Some obviously not in here by choice, some in here because they were ahead of the other students in their grade. My magnificent grey eyes swiped the room again, wait magnificently grey? Vain and masochistic, perfect combination for a serial killer or a actor. Maybe I shall take my profession in the latter. Resting my eyes on Carter I was a starstruck look on her face, like someone had just bitch slapped the tiny bit of dumb out of her. Was it my writing? Hmmm, my writing was illegible at the best of times. The paper in my hands was the only thing I could do to help her. It was my original typed copy of the note. Of course with my little scrawling in the margins. Mostly hearts and little love quotes, what else did I have to do in political science?


Walking to my slim friends desk with all the grace I could muster I set the paper down in front of her. Walking back to my desk was the exact time that I realized what I had done. “Fuck.” The simple word caressed the air with a effeminate, seductive tone. Feeling eyes on my back made me blush, why did I have to outburst like this? Spinning on my heal I gave the class a stern look. That made most of the students look back to their papers. Carter was actually looking at the note I gave her. Almost willing herself to become one with it, like she wanted to fade into the paper and become the sweet words scripted in the deep fuchsia.

Looking at the clock made me flinch. There was only fifteen minutes left of class, they were shortened today because of the pep rally. Where did the time go where you were subconsciously seducing your friend? That is a question that I personally will never have an answer to. Sitting back in my desk, I booted up my laptop. The familiar Mac splash screen greeted me. Putting in my password made my smirk. Of course any of my friends could’ve guessed it. ‘juniorislove’ wasn’t very creative, plus it was pretty much my life theme up to this piece in time, whether it will change is still to come in the events on my pitiful sadistic life.

Signing into msn I was greeted with 32 new emails, more fan mail or pictures of guy from chat rooms. Looking down my contacts list almost made me scream with joy. Carter was on mobile messenger. Double clicking her name made the conversation box appear. “Meet Me By My Suburban In Ten Minutes” Noting that there were five minutes left in class and she’d most likely need to drop by her locker.

”Rinnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnggggg” The bell rang at the exact second it was synchronized for, living so perfectly like a clock would’ve been a life I’d choose at this moment. Taking my computer and bags I made a dash for the door, causing a little scene behind me as the others cursed at me for pushing them aside, who the fuck really cared about them, it wasn’t like I was going to pass them anyways. A few people smiled at me as I passed, others winked. I responded to each with a swift grin and an increase in speed. Reaching my truck before Carter was something I never expected. Not in the least, maybe she wasn’t coming?

My mind seemed to wander as I leaned against the perfect black finish on the metal. Closing my eyes and pinching the bridge of my nose, I tried to relieve the pressure building in my brain as the minutes passes. The headache was almost blinding, causing me to fall to the ground in front of the truck. My mind just needed to shut off for a while, to make this all go away. But would I Let it?

[/size][/blockquote]


::TAG:: Whomever Wishes
::WORD COUNT:: Six-Hundered Fifty-Six
::OUTFIT:: Click
::COMMENTS:: HI
::LYRIC CREDIT:: Poison ~ Elise Estrada

Template by: •°o.OBambiO.o°• of Blank Pages

[` carter alyssa westwood]

[/SIZE][/color][/font]
YOU'LL BE WAITING IN VAIN.[/font]
i've got nothing for you to gain.[/color][/font]
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The class was suddenly submerged in a dark, black ocean. Everything moved in slow motion in an eerie prehistoric way, the shadows dancing on the walls in a liquidated way. Will swam through the black tide and to his desk before heading back to mine, which was staying oddly anchored on the sandy ocean floor. The students around us didn't need oxygen masks, but apparently, I did. I felt like I was gasping for air, like I was drowning. My heart was pounding, spluttering and aching for anything to keep my alive. It had been drained of all life since I started having these feelings for Will, my gay friend. They were black, parasitic feelings, easily eating away at anything good that I'd had left in me.

I tried to focus on the words on the paper and found it an easy task. But my head soon started to rearrange the letters into phrases it liked better. Sentences that would send me on a guilt trip to last me all my years. 'Sam will be so jealous.'. 'William will never love you.' Another. And oddly enough, What would your mother think?. I had no idea how my eyes absorbed so much of the page, how they were strong enough to pull these vowels and consanants together to create words in front of my eyes, but the sudden adrenaline rush had made me sharp.

I continued to work in the undersea classroom, but found it hard. I noticed my eyes burning after purposefully staring at my page for so long and after I had blinked a few times, found that there was actual water on the page; tears that had slid out of my eyes, unnoticed. I brushed them off the dry paper and returned to my dark, blue space to drown once more.

Fifteen minutes of class left. Maybe I could survive. My phone buzzed in my pocket and I pulled it out, praying for it to be Amy to distract me. I'd been worried about Will punishing me for the cell phone use until I realized that he'd been the one sending me the messages. Aww, crap. Why did we have to talk about it? I didn't want a conversation, he didn't need to know how I felt. Who ever considered shit like that anyway? Nobody cared about Carter Westwood? I knew Sam hadn't been here in a couple of weeks, but what if he happened to show the moment that I stood in the parking lot, alone with Will, having a very serious talk?

I knew the odds of that were one in a million, or one day in three weeks of absences, so I made my way - reluctantly - to the parking lot. The day matched my mood and set a sort of courage in me. Maybe I could pull myself together and bring my walls back up. Will would think my behavior in class was only a fluke. I looked around for his car, my eyes still wide, but my heart slowing to a calm, steady pace like the sure beat of an Indian war drum. It deafened my ears, my feet stepped to the pace.

And the beat raced on like the hooves of a wild stallion as I raced towards Will's car to realize he was lying there, unconcious, in front of the car. What had happened, I had no idea of, but it struck me with a sort of fear that threw all my walls to the ground and let them burn. Flames went up in my mind and in desperate attempts to escape untimely deaths, the thoughts fled smoking buildings. What if Will was dead? Had I really loved him all along? Why did I care so much about Sam when there was apparently a boy right in front of me that had? Could I still help him? I ignored the screaming, running thoughts and dove down to my knees. I'd taken CPR courses for a reason. I lifted his wrist and checked for a pulse. He still had one, but it was weak. Apparently, the Indians in his arm had sore hands and were tired of beating their drums.

It took a bit of courage to decide on what to do, but the decision was made in less than a second. I put my hands together, pressed hard against Will's surprisingly muscular chest with several thrusts, and slowly, as if anticipating what could count as my first kiss, moved my lips toward Will's in a sacrifice that could only be made in a bond stronger than friendship.



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POST STATUS:[/color] Complete. (:
TEMPLATE CREDIT TO:[/color] sydknee says!
BANNER CREDIT TO:[/color] person!
LYRICS CREDIT TO:[/color] All Time Low
ROLEPLAYING WITH:[/color] Willie Weller, maybe Amy Germore? Ashley Westwood, and other cannons that might join later.
WHERE WE AT?:[/color] English lit. class, room 101, Building B. and the parking lot.
WORD COUNT:[/color] seven hundred and sixty-two.
LOOKING LIKE:[/color] clique. x3
NOTES:[/color] xxx[/size]
[/font]
[/center]
[/ul]

[shameless]

-----------------------------
My Bodies Acking
~Acking For Your Touch~
Cant You See, Its Slowly Killing Me. Your Love Is Like Poison

[/color]

-----------------------------

When I awoke my eyes would not see anything, the scene around me was black. Not like the dark of night that spread itself like a blanket, this darkness was heavy, like it was impenetrable. My deep gray eyes would not focus to the surrounding area. Running my hands around me was difficult, but not impossible, my limps felt like they were displacing water. How could I be underwater? What was probably seconds ago my black baby was keeping my erect, keeping me from falling onto the ground. What had happened? Where was I? How was Carter? The thoughts clogged my head, which was incredibly compared to its state not but moments ago. A swift breeze began to linger around me, oddly it seemed to be really warm and caressing. Letting out a little moan the realization came to me, it was not just air. It smelt like breath, like someone was chewing gum and breathing into my face. Moaning again I thought of Junior’s breath playing along my skin.

Picturing Junior’s face was hard to do, there was something off with it. The nose, the nose was not his. Then the eyes started to morph, the hair started to grow, within seconds she was there. “Carter?” I gasped, why was she here. Taking odd small steps forward I noticed that the heavy feeling of before was replaced. Now I was floating. My body was being pulled towards Carter. I tried to resist, but my body made it clear that I needed Carter at this moment. Getting suddenly pissed off with my speed I began to sprint towards Carter. Closer and closer I got, clearer and clearer the scene got. Reaching out and touching Carter I ran my hand to where she should be. Then Bright Lights Blinded My Vision

Fluttering my eye’s to get used to the light I noticed that I was staring into chocolate eyes, as the face neared mine again. Feeling lips of mine I instantly moaned, whoever It was kissed softly, blowing air into my mouth. WAIT, blowing air? Blinking again everything came into focus. “Carter? What do you think your doing?” My voice was weak, like I’d aged fifty years in a millisecond, but the tone was no less harsher that it would normally have been. Had she date raped me? Why was she kissing me? Where was I this time?

I tried to push her off me, but my body was useless against her weight, I was weak. Trying to move my head proved to be an almost impossibility. Shifting my eyes to the right I saw my licence plate, shifting them to the left I saw the entrance to building C. Why was I on the ground? Why did the back of my head feel warm and wet. Why was there blood around me? Was I bleeding? Tears began to roll down my cheeks, smudging my eye liner again. The water left my cheeks and fell into the red viscous AB positive blood. Diluting the rare material.


Pulling my eyes back to meet Carter’s I tried to communicate to her with my eyes. She seemed to understand I was in pain, but it looked like she was hurt. Like my words from before had slapped her into a shocked state. I half expected her to cry herself. From the pain of my rejection and anger. Mustering up all the strength that was inside my body I spoke again. “Help?” She seemed to respond more to these words, she moved a little. The motion made my vision blur, it seemed like she was moving at the speed of a circuit car. The sudden shock to my eyes sent my head spinning. Feeling like I had a case of vertigo I closed my eyes and let my ears guide me along. I would her some noise, then It all went cut out.

Once again I was in the perpetual darkness of my sub conscious, fighting against myself.

[/size][/blockquote]


::TAG:: Whomever Wishes
::WORD COUNT:: Six-Hundered Sixty-Seven
::OUTFIT:: Click
::COMMENTS:: HI
::LYRIC CREDIT:: Poison ~ Elise Estrada

Template by: •°o.OBambiO.o°• of Blank Pages

[` carter alyssa westwood]

[/SIZE][/color][/font]
YOU'LL BE WAITING IN VAIN.[/font]
i've got nothing for you to gain.[/color][/font]
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The world moved in a slow, still twirl as I moved my head closer and closer to William's. I could feel his hot breath on my face, the warmth emanating from his body. The breath was weak, but I was merely centimeters from his lips, thriving in that moment of hesitation. Somewhere, in a rush of realization, I understood that no, I didn't want to do this and that I hadn't been after William this whole time. Why I'd felt attracted to him for the past hour and why I still felt a lingering bit of it now might always be unknown to me, but this current understanding gave me enough courage and slowed my heartbeat enough to take the climb.

My lip virginity was lost to William Weller, the gay boy in less than a second. I did all that I knew to do, trying to be ginger and light on his soft, supple lips. I kept telling myself that I was not enjoying this, and that it would not be nice to kiss him if he was returning the favor. His breath had a strange taste to it, a certain perfume that came off his tongue. Not that I was reaching in there or anything, but it lay near his teeth and I breathed it in as I inhaled. I exhaled the rest of my oxygen into his limp, weak body and tried to find a rhythm to it all.

'Carter, what do you think you're doing?' Though none of Willie's strength had returned yet, his words threw me off of him with the force of a heavy-handed punch. All the air that I'd brought into my lungs for him was knocked out of me easily. I sat there, looking at nothing but a blur of gray, yet staring at it decidedly. 'You weren't breathing.' I whispered. There came that pitiful word 'rejection' came to mind once more. Why should William be rejecting me when I didn't even love him? Well, he didn't know what my true feelings were, but I sure was contradicting myself at the moment.

I sat there, blank-faced and crying for a moment, like a little girl who'd dropped her ice cream cone. Just stared at the street and the blood where this had all began. He seemed to be fading. A tiny spark inside of me lit and burned. Perhaps he wouldn't remember all of this after he woke up. He had been hit pretty hard in the head. But by then I'd already called 911 and sorted things out. They would be here in a few minutes, they'd said. So why did it feel like a lifetime had passed me by already? I felt like I'd sold out to William, and now he held everything in his limp hands. What would my future husband say when I told him I'd given up my first kiss to a gay boy? What were you thinking love? - perhaps. You must have been quite a character at fifteen. - why had I given this up to him? I'd promised myself to be a moral person, to hold myself to high standards. And I'd gonen and screwed everything up by kissing William Weller.

A siren to the east brought me back to the present moment and gave me a blast to the past. I was fifteen, single and didn't have to worry about a husband that loved me, cared for me, and looked like an older version of Sam Recke. I had stupid, gay William Weller. Surprising how I found myself suddenly so angry with him. The paramedics put him on a stretcher and loaded him into the ambulance. Students had crowded around the outside of the building, asking what had occured. 'Are you his girlfriend?' One of the medics asked. 'I'm sure as fuck not.' I snapped angrily. I was suprised that they still let me ride with them to the hospital with how rude I'd been. Was it really that freaking obvious that I had feelings for William Weller? Goddamnit!

We were led into the bland, grey hospital, and he still hadn't woken up. I wanted so badly to tell him exactly what the heck I thought I was doing and make the distinction between that and what I'd actually been doing. Why wouldn't he just open his pretty eyes again and let me explain that I wasn't in love with him?




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POST STATUS:[/color] Complete. (:
TEMPLATE CREDIT TO:[/color] sydknee says!
BANNER CREDIT TO:[/color] person!
LYRICS CREDIT TO:[/color] Blue Foundation
ROLEPLAYING WITH:[/color] Willie Weller.
WHERE WE AT?:[/color] Berlington High parking lot and Laudeville General Hospital.
WORD COUNT:[/color] seven hundred and thirty-two.
LOOKING LIKE:[/color] clique. x3
NOTES:[/color] xxx[/size]
[/font]
[/center]
[/ul]

[shameless]

-----------------------------
My Bodies Acking
~Acking For Your Touch~
Cant You See, Its Slowly Killing Me. Your Love Is Like Poison

[/color]

-----------------------------

The darkness was surrounding me again, but this time it was peaceful, serene. I felt as if life was nothing but a checker game, something so trivial that it didn’t matter whether I did well or if I failed miserably. There was nothing to my time on earth but one go around that board and then the after life. Whatever that may be like, reincarnation, heaven. Either or was perfect right now, what I wouldn’t give to be a graceful panther, making my way in for a kill. The blood glinting off my teeth after a kill. The crimson vicious liquid falling in small drops to the jungle ground beneath me, soaking into the earth and feeding the vegetation that is my natural habitat, ally and enemy wrapped into one . Or maybe a caterpillar, going through life with content change beginning as something average and becoming the most beautiful thing on earth over night.

I can imagine my scenery, the freedom, the pure raw needs, the beeping. The Beeping? Then the scene of my imagination faded into the abyss of nothingness, leaving a hollow lusting feeling erupt in my chest. I lusted for the scene to come back, for myself to be a graceful beast again, to have natural yearnings, unlike the impure homosexual one’s that erupted inside my body when I was around guys. Natural responses to girls, not the ones that made me subconsciously look them over for fashion flaws. The lust that erupted in my chest began to make its way to my head, causing my temples to pulse heavily everything the beeping continued.

The light was blinding, not that of the outside, these lights were brighter, mechanical. The unnaturalness was disturbing compared to the complete and total sensory take over in my visions. Everything was shining blue from the light. Where was I? Where was the beeping coming from? WHERE WAS CARTER? The thoughts rushed to my brains the same way logs did down a river, beating on each other and the bank. Causing my head to spin like I’d succumbed to a case of vertigo. Closing my eyes again I took deep calm breaths, well at least the calmest I could manage, silent sobs rocked my body, causing the vertigo to take more control. The pain was so much, it hurt, like nothing I ever experienced. Not even like a long hard ten inch dil---erm, maybe not the best place to think about that time, whatever this place was. Slowly I reopened my eyes, letting the vision come to me slowly.


The scene adjusted, become sharper and clearer with every second. Now was probably the best time to take in my surroundings. Willing my body, with the little strength that I had, to turn onto my side was hard. The stiff crinkle of paper beneath my slim torso made me flinch. Of where I was I know now, the hospital. How did I get here? The last thing I remember is Carter trying to French me…..no she’d never do that, or would she? Sobs made their way into my system again, did she use me? Was I nothing but a happy hooker to her? Suddenly I felt so dirty, the dirt was embedded inside of me. Picking my palms with my fingers I tried to get it out of me. The blood started to bead out of the cuts slowly as my perfectly manicured finger nails dug deep into my soft flesh.


I could see the deep red of my blood staining the perfect sheets, undoubtedly new. That was probably going to come back and kick my insurance in the ass, but what did I care? Why was my head spinning? Had she given my date rape drugs, while my back was turned she could’ve easily slipped them into my water bottle. I still couldn’t believe that she did this, I wouldn’t.


To my surprise the opened and closed gently. Was it her? Would she leave me alone? I tried to act like I was sleeping, she’d probably hate to awake me. Or maybe this’d be her chance to give my some Viagra and take my virginity. The thought sent shivers down my spine. Oh great. that wasn’t going to tip her off in the least. Fuck, I really need to get control over my thoughts, it’d be a lot more helpful in life. The idea of actually being able to become impassive without shutting myself away from anyone made me grin. And there we go again. I felt the final tear be wiped from my face by a soft cold hand, great she was touching me again. This time I was able to hold in the shudder

[/size][/blockquote]


::TAG:: Whomever Wishes
::WORD COUNT:: Seven-Hundred Eighty Eight
::OUTFIT:: Click
::COMMENTS:: HI
::LYRIC CREDIT:: Poison ~ Elise Estrada

Template by: •°o.OBambiO.o°• of Blank Pages

[` carter alyssa westwood]

carter ,

[/color]

[/color]


I lifted my head from my hands and I could see again. Bleach white walls holding Monet imitations, fluorescents covered by indented plastic on the ceilings. I wondered how many dying men they'd seen pass under them below, how many already dead that they had shone their false glow upon. The lighting was not very flattering, but more of a blue, ghastly tone, but I supposed nothing would flatter the lifeless. Green eyes darted around the dimly lit hallway, searching for the source of the footsteps I'd heard. I didn't want anyone to see me crying. My parents knew now that I was at the hospital, but they were on a business trip and couldn't be with me right now. Ash, my sister, knew too, but she didn't care. I'm sure Junior was on the brain again. I ducked my head back into my hands and let loose a few more tears. My dirty blonde hair hung in bloody tangles - I wished I had some shampoo with me, or the time to even slip into a shower. The hot water might have relaxed my tight shoulders and calmed enough to see straight. At least with my eyes closed, the world could stop spinning. William was unconscious. I was sure I'd thrown our friendship under the bus, and it wasn't getting back up. He'd seemed pretty mad at me for kissing him. As a matter of fact, I was pretty mad at myself for that, too. How could I have done such a thing, even if it was only to give him CPR? Well, for one thing, he'd stopped breathing. And even though I knew our relationship was heading south, I'd tried to grab the steering wheel once again. Contrary to popular belief, I was a good person. I may have been a Prep, but I also had that other side to me.

I lifted my head a fraction of an inch, the world spun miles in return. It took awhile for me to focus enough on my Juicy Couture watch and realize it was eight thirty. School let out at three forty-five, I'd been waiting here with William for almost five hours. He'd had his waking moments, but used them only to cuss me out. I'd gotten tired of being abused and having to look at him and left the room. Every move he made caused him pain, I could tell it from the bench outside his door. I would cover my ears, but they were clamped too tightly over my eyes.

Footsteps again. They had the shuffle of authority, a doctor or nurse, I was sure. My mane of blonde hair raised yet again, and the white hall of the hospital was brought back to my attention, drab paintings and all, hanging on the walls to try and bring in a bit of color. Everything was without it here. The patient's skin, the doctor's white lab coats, the nurse's white Keds, the bleached floors and sheets. If there was any color here, it would have been red. William had stained the bed earlier with his masochistic torture. Why anyone would cut themselves, I had never understood, but it was beginning to all make sense. I couldn't explain how bad I felt right now. It was as if I'd been surrounded by a nightmare, blissfully unaware of how much was going on outside my walls of safety, and I'd stepped outside in the chaos. Miss? I do believe your friend is waking up. My eyes focused away from the blur of white to a nurse's strong, face, dark only where her white teeth didn't shine. Thank you. I murmured softly, and stood. My knees were weak, I wished Sam were here. But lately there'd been a rumor going around that he'd moved away. As if things hadn't been going badly enough lately.

I entered William's room, number five-oh-three. The door shut with a soft click. My ballet flats crossed the linoleum with the gentle swish of a child's blankets as they ran to their parent's room, awakened from a bad dream. But they had reality, and it was better than what they dreamed. My dreams far surpassed this harsh truth and the gay boy lying in bed, bleeding. He seemed to be only half awake, at first, but a closer look and a flutter of his thick lashes revealed he was only deceiving me. He was pretending to sleep. But his breath was too heavy, his muscles too tense for peace. It hurt to realize he didn't want to talk. However, I'd calmed down since the accident. I probably wouldn't have had the heart to caress his shoulder the way I did if I knew what was running through his head right now. I'd thought long and hard as I sat out there, alone, and I'd decided I didn't like William. I had no idea what it was that had made me think I did, perhaps natural curiosity, but I had decided myself that it was not him I liked. I'd be taking a break from boys for awhile. They were too much drama, and the pain they brought seemed worse than child labor sometimes. Are you okay, Willie?[/b] I whispered, the voice of a five-year-old coming from my lips. It took me a few seconds to realize it was mine and see that even though I'd thought about him differently for awhile, our friendship was still there in my heart. I would try to forget all my mistakes. If William's scars would let me, I think I could. This would be the beginning, right here, right now. In this very second, my hand on his fever-hot skin, I would expel any feelings I'd ever had and become stone. Steady and strong. The wise men would build their houses up on me and I would feel nothing. I would be nothing. Just a blockade for the sea to beat it's waves upon, the constant rhythm the only thing reminding me of the chaotic life I'd once experienced.

Word Count 1005
All content c) AWRY at Forever and Always, 2008.[/SIZE][/ul][/CENTER][/COLOR]

[shameless]

-----------------------------
My Bodies Acking
~Acking For Your Touch~
Cant You See, Its Slowly Killing Me. Your Love Is Like Poison

[/color]

-----------------------------

The high lingering soprano startled me, something sinister was showing in Carter’s voice. Tauntingly beautiful and filling. The voice mingled with the air without overpowering it. Again I felt her soft boney hands brush on my face. The touch was enough to nauseate me. The little bit of hospital food contained in my contracting stomach began to make its way up my oesophagus. Trying to push the acidic waste back I gagged, the taste was terrible. Like nothing I’ve ever experienced, the mixture was bile and anger. I could taste my emotions for the company around me. Her seeming innocence sickened me beyond no relief. I knew what she had tried, or at least I was pretty sure of what she’d done. God, why couldn’t I make up my mind? Should I respond, or should I ignore her? She was a friend after all. Was would be the best way to put our love/rape relationship. How shall I respond? Was there a procedure for something like this, maybe even a social grace. ANYTHING!?!?! Pfft, as if any other girl except Carter would try to pull her gay friend. She was all unassuming, sweet, almost the perfect picture of a little schoolgirl. Was it all a show to hide all the sexual sadism that hid below the skin of the slim teen. Unfortunately, I was the one that the panther attacked, leaping out of the bush in an aggressive pounce. Now I was broken, my life felt like it was sucked out of me. Cliché? Yes. Real? Certainly. I knew my eyes must’ve looked dull and listless, my how many times had I read that in a novel before? Too many to be certain.




Great, my coping mechanisms were falling into place. Shutting the door to my heart and my weakness like a dead bolt. The each pessimistic thought closing off the spots where it hurt in my soul. Every breath strengthening the defences. My body was arming itself for war, now I finally understood the phrase ‘Love is a battlefield.’ Finally the my infantry was armed, pure hatred and fear ran through my veins like acid. Eating up my body, making my useless without it, my blood was replaced with pure venom. “Leave me alone, do you fucking think you can come back to ride me again. Well Fuck You!” Pure unadulterated loathing was my signature weapon, it seemed as if all the anger that was ever in a room could flow into me. My self defence to a situation I could not control was anger, then crying. Most people ran off thinking thing through, I was mostly emotion. I could easily run off the emotions in the room. Maybe there was something wrong with me, or maybe I’m meant to function like that. Either way I could feel the bile burning within myself.

Trying to pull myself up made my little bit of adrenaline waver. My sides shot with pain, joints shook violently with spasms, shaking my tiny swimmers body like a small ship on a dark stormy ocean sea. Shakily my body gained a little bit of leverage, slowly I was able to pull myself against the head board and up. The bloody cuts on my arms still ran all over the white, obviously my struggle to maintain a defensive position against Carter’s attempts to steal what dignity I had left. Wasn’t bad enough that Miss Scandalous BHS wrote to everyone about my sexuality, in what maybe 5 hours. Yes, I do subscribe to her blog from my phone. Now Carter was going to make me look like some bi-curious little man whore who does nothing else but trap unassuming girls into a relationship with his superior acting skills. Great, ironically she almost always steals my ideas like that. Maybe she can even hear my thoughts, wouldn’t put it past the little bitch.

Carter’s eyes were filled with hurt like oceans, I wondered if mine gave of the rainbow of emotions playing on the horizon of my mind. The sun making each color stand out uniquely to any other colors in the world, they were of different tones to be certain , some colors even mixed and other lapped each other. The only color staying dormant was jealousy, for once. I wasn’t jealous of anything, I was yearning to be someone else, but I wasn’t jealous of them, they had their own problems, and this was my challenge to face. “Listen Carter. You’re a good friend, but you cant do this to me, you know that right?” Maybe if I reasoned with her I could think straight my mind was all over, emotions square dancing in my mind. Anger still littered my voice, but more broken that usual. I was angry, but at who. Her? Me? Was I angry that I wasn’t enjoying her sexual attention? My mother was really brainwashing me, maybe I should talk to Josh about this. I mean he is my brother, and he’s gay too. He could clear some stuff up, right? Im sure that someone out there has felt the exact same things im feeling now. Wait, oh god, am I crying ?

I felt fingers on my face again, wiping the tears. Why was I not sure I was crying? Were the drugs really this good? Man, I need to get harmed for often. The tears kept sliding down my cheeks like rain down a window, leaving graceful paths down my neck and into my shirt.

[/size][/blockquote]


::TAG:: Whomever Wishes
::WORD COUNT:: Nine Hundred Seventeen
::OUTFIT:: Click
::COMMENTS:: HI
::LYRIC CREDIT:: Poison ~ Elise Estrada

Template by: •°o.OBambiO.o°• of Blank Pages

[` carter alyssa westwood]

carter ,

[/i]

&& it's taken me this long baby, but i figured you out
&& you're thinking we'll be fine again, but not this time around
[/center]

[/i] Conciously making an effort to hide that his sentence contradicted itself, I turned away, my eyes to the ground. He must be talking about how I'd given him CPR back in the school parking lot, which meant he must have remembered. But to tell the truth, I wasn't all that upset about it. Sure, I might have thought about Willie for awhile, but I hadn't fallen in two hours. Nobody could fall that fast, and I'd apparently walked it off. I was only beginning to see what an unattractive, rude person he was. I felt like he'd turned his back on me, and only then, when I wasn't stunned by his handsome face, could I open my eyes enough to see that the other side of him wasn't pretty. He was a two-faced, lying, backstabbing gay boy. Qualities he'd all hid from me, starting the moment I met him. And I regretted every second I'd spent with a stranger.

» Just to be rebellious, I turned my back on his. I'm so glad you're grateful. I saved your life, but you... At this I turned back around, all the pain in my eyes breaking free. I never would have hated him, but I was provoked, I was prodded and poked. There was no going back on how things used to be, not after the things he'd accused me of, the person he apparently thought I was. You selfish, dirty little prostitute can't get your mind out of the gutter. I had snapped. My voice was cool, words delivered with a bone-dry sense of sarcasm only I had mastered at this age. But Will was beyond my years, and I knew the only reason I was fighting him was because he'd fight back. I know what you're thinking. My golden ballet flats swished across the linoleum tile and towards his bed. I could hear him shudder under the starched hospital sheets. And yes, I loved you. As a friend. I don't know why the fuck I did, but congratulations. You had me fooled. I smiled sadistically, my ringed hand reaching forward to slap his smooth, babyface. The contact with something was sharp and stinging; I moved away without knowing whether I'd hit him. Even if I hadn't, and I'd hit his arm, his shoulder, the intent should have been enough. I'd wanted to hurt him. We'd been best friends, and I wanted to hurt him. Not anymore.

» I grabbed my hot pink leather bag from the office chair by the door and slipped on my sunglasses. I slammed the heavy wood door and zipped open my purse, spraying on some perfume, and stalked out of the hospital wing. I left only my memory and the intended threat I'd meant for William Weller to feel. What had been - our friendship - something irreplaceable, that he could never earn back. I knew I'd become a different person in the past few weeks. I hated to think Sam, a boy so immature and fickle, had made me who I was. But though the bad aspects to my new character outweighed the good, the benefits were still there. I was stronger, I could take care of myself, and I'd realized that I could survive, even if I was alone. I exited the hospital, my goodbye a handful of stunned stares from the nurses, and took a deep breath of the cold night air. It was ten now. I was tired, and I needed some sleep. I didn't care if William Weller got better, I wouldn't doze at his bedside, waiting for him to show some kind of recovery. For all I cared, he could die. My trail of emma by aerie perfume wafted out into the cold from the sliding doors, an echo of what I'd been this afternoon, a reminder of what had just occurred. Delicate and soft. I recalled Will's room number, 503. I scanned the facade of the hospital building and found it not to be as high up as I'd expected. I grasped the bottle in my hands, the bottle biting into my hands, I gripped it so tightly. The stars were my only witnesses, shining down on the blue night below. I threw the bottle at the window with all the strength left in my dying body, and listened to the sound of shattered glass as I left.

you don't have to call anymore, i won't pick up the phone
this is the last straw, don't want to hurt anymore.

Word Count 789
Outfit click.
Post Status Complete .
All content c) Copyright Awry at Forever and Always. Lyrics c) Taylor Swift.[/ul][/size][/color][/blockquote]